Having a co-dependent personality is good if you are in public relations

Warning: heavy post ahead.

Codependency is one of the most common terms in psychology and one with a very broad definition. It derives from the behavior of people who live with alcoholics or other addicts and have had to adjust their methods of coping to account for the addiction. But it really encompasses a broad set of behaviors that you can certainly exhibit even if you didn't grow up in an alcoholic or drug-using environment.

It boils down to this: do you consistently act in ways in which you alone are responsible for your own sense of well-being, or do you rely on the actions or behaviors of others to determine your mood? If the latter, then you have a codependent personality.

It seems to me that having a codependent personality is a good thing if you are in PR.Why? Here are some of the hallmarks of codependency (from the Mental Health America web site):

• An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others


• A tendency to do more than your share, all of the time


• A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize your efforts


• An extreme need for approval and recognition


• A sense of guilt when asserting yourself


• A compelling need to control others


• Lying/dishonesty

Here's are a few key questions about being codependent:

• Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?


• Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?


• Are the opinions of others more important than your own?


• Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?


• Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?


• Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?


• Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?


• Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?

Doesn't all this sound like a PR job? The impossible-to-please clients, the vague objectives, the sense that you can "always do more," the notion that PR people should never express their opinions, or if they do, they better do it super-nicely, and of course, the big one, dishonesty. This may be good for business in the short run, but it's bound to create unhappy PR professionals. While I do believe that there is a non-codependent way to conduct PR, it may not be as profitable as taking the codependent route.

I'm not trying to shame or embarrass anyone here. But we so often talk only about the minutiae of PR. Maybe it's time we talked about something really important.